I'm not MORBID

Occasionally... or maybe rather often, when my mind spends time talking to itself and God, I find myself wondering a few things - on the topic of death. 1. If God should take me away right now or today, a - Will I be ready?? b - Will I be able to look back and see that I gave my best in this life?? c - Will people actually miss me? And remember fondly of me?? d - The dreams and hopes I have wedged in my heart - did I grab the opportunities given to realize them?? e - Did I live a life of love?? Weirdly and oddly, I think that the prospect of death - the fact that time here on earth is limited, and that I will meet Jesus face to face one day is one of the reasons why I am inclined, pressed and motivated to live life in the best way Jesus would have wanted me to live it with His eternal grace, mercy, faith, joy and love. Hahahahah and on a totally -_- note, I've also thought of the thought that should I go before many friends, I would want to tell everyone that "See Tiff is a fast girl afterall- she's checking out heaven for all of you first!" HAHAHAHHAHA and maybe that would make someone laugh/smack me. Oh Jesus. You make me smile rather much. :)